Living in a child's shadow

My daughter got her first report card last week. And I was stunned. Not because she didn't fare well nor was I too bothered about a two and a half year old's report card. I mean how serious can you get about a two year old's report card. For God's sake, she has got an entire lifetime to learn, excel and grow. What stunned me were the words written on the report card. As I read what was written, time just moved in backward motion to when I was three years old.

Within a split of a second, the report cards merged. Which one was mine, which one was my daughter's - I couldn't tell. My eyes brimmed with tears as I read out to my husband. It said, "Sia is a sensitive and reserved child. She needs to interact more with her classmates. She is excellent at studies but weak in sports. Loves dance and music.' Exactly the words on my kindergarten report card 34 years back.

My husband and I smiled at the coincidence. The words reassured me. She was indeed my daughter in every sense of the word. And I was confident she would turn out ten shades brighter than I turned out. I mean after getting a report card which said I was shy and reserved 34 years back, it's ironical that today people call me a livewire, the most extravagant extrovert they have seen, a person who loves people and who has to be stopped often from talking too much.

I have no secrets. My life's an open book, literally. As I narrated the contents of my report card to Sia's teachers, they too smiled and said if I had turned out like this, they weren't too worried for Sia either. The only person worried after that has been my husband.

After all it was he who would have to now handle two live wires at home. Having one drama queen in the house was hell enough. Now for him to witness exaggerated displays of affection, long winded stories of little incidents narrated with full joie de vivre and reactions to situations as if the world was ending - all these are certain to keep him on his toes for the rest of his life. He is one lucky guy after all. Never will he have a dull moment with two of us around him.

I mean not that there is anything wrong in being reserved or shy. But as a mother who is selfish and cares for her daughter, I would just be more at peace if she has no difficulty in expressing herself, has a lot of friends and is not a loner. Sensitive she is and should be always but if she turns out to be an extrovert and remains connected to her roots, a mother's heart will be at peace.

It is amazing, almost surreal to see an exact replica of yourself in your child. It also sometimes bogs you down with the realisation of the amazing responsibility you carry as a parent. My daughter has today proven that she takes after me. It gives me a lifetime of hope and pride to think that 15 or 20 years down the line she may be a brighter shadow of me. Or maybe she will turn out to be completely different.

What will never change is her fabric, her constitution, her essence of which I am an important part. The external factors and mannerisms may be similar or different, what cannot ever change or break is the umbilical cord which binds us - heart to heart, breath to breath, soul to soul. And when she grows up to be a star in whatever way, I for once wouldn't mind paling in comparison to her. As a mother, it will be my ultimate and most deserved win.

A very happy Diwali to all my readers. May the lights bring great strength, wisdom and peace to all my fellow parents.

Till my next post! You can write to me at http://mammamania.in

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