Motherhood certainly stirs and awakens things in you which you didn't know about earlier. Besides the usual love for your child, sacrifice, patience and other such noble virtues, it also opens you up to avenues and opportunities you never thought existed.
I, for one, was always an office going employee. Always. I did it for 16 years for I did not know otherwise. Going to work every day gave me a sense of discipline and worthiness. It was important for my self esteem and was a good punch bag for all my restless energy. It gave me direction, kept me sane.
The birth of my daughter changed all this. Though I worked at a full time job for a year after she was 10 months old, I was clearly unhappy. When I was at work I ached to be with her. When I was home I wanted to be at office thinking about the incomplete work and the guilt associated with it.
Before that, I had already written my book 'Mamma Mania' as a memoir of all that I went through during my pregnancy. Little did I know that it would get published and give me another choice in my career options. Once this book was out, I ached to pen down my second one. But the full time job and the baby at home did not give me any time for writing.
I started pushing myself to think what I could do to earn as well as give time to my baby whilst penning down my second book. After thinking about it for many days, I resigned from work citing my baby as the reason. Little did I know that my organisation would give me the option of working from home.
Voila! I was a freelance consultant now, an author, a mother just as I wanted. And all this at my convenience and choice of time. I could select my projects, work out my schedule, write when I wanted to and best of all look after my baby and supervise her the whole day. I bet if anyone had told me 4 years earlier that this was possible, I would have laughed my guts out.
But my baby pushed me to think beyond my boundaries and my comfort zone. She compelled me to find my other skills other than the ones I had honed and perfected. The want to be with her pushed me to take risks and try out things I had never done earlier. And believe me that one act of resigning from a full time job has snowballed into so many diverse options that I cannot complain of boredom ever. Funny that my little bundle knew this of me but I didn't.
Maybe it's when your priorities are in place that you take the best decisions. Before my baby, there was not one single priority in my life. Today my single most priority is my daughter and her welfare. That, put in place, has sorted out all the other things in my life. When you have to take decisions keeping one single focus, I guess it makes it easier. The pros and cons are right there in front of you.
I never had a mentor when I was growing up or climbing the ladder at work. But today I have one. My daughter Sia. One look at her and I know the choice I have to make, the risks I have to take, the promises I can make and the paths I can tread. It is almost as if she has brought the zing in my life. I no more want stability. I want to experience each thing that life offers me.
I just don't want to be one person all my life but to live the life of many people in one lifetime. And to think that my two year old taught me this. Next time you are searching for light in the darkness, try listening to your babies. They are telling you so much even if they can't speak.
Till my next post! You can write to me at http://mammamania.in