Two days back my little star went on stage for the first time. She was completely unaware of what lay in store or the excitement I had been feeling for the past one month. Everyday for the past few weeks she would come from school and show me the steps she had learned and I would marvel in delight. How cute she looked performing those dainty steps! The day the teacher sent her costumes home I couldn't wait to see her in them. I tried to have little expectations of the D-day but couldn't stop myself from thinking what if she didn't perform, what if she cried while on stage, what if she tripped and fell. I imagined a thousand other situations which I knew would never play out but nevertheless they kept me awake for most nights.
So imagine my plight when the day of reckoning arrived. I was surprised at my own state of mind. I, who had always prided in being easy going, not building pressure on my daughter, having a calm mind, always telling myself it didn't matter where she stood in the race as long as she ran the race, was surprised to find myself a bundle of nerves. My husband was far more relaxed than I was. As I put make up on her little face which she quickly wiped off and the lipstick was quickly devoured too, I wondered whether she would really be the only one looking plain while the other girls held out perfectly painted faces.
Finally we were seated waiting anxiously for the show to begin. Once her act began, my eyes searched frantically for her. I couldn't spot her. I could see and hear other parents squeal in delight seeing their kids but where was my princess? Wasn't she performing? Was she left out last minute? Why couldn't I see her? As the act almost reached midway and I couldn't spot her, my eyes brimmed with tears. I hadn't realised how much I had waited for this moment, to see her on stage.
Till another parent who had seen my disappointment spotted her for me. There she was in full make-up lipstick et al, in one of the last rows towered over by the taller kids. I reached out to get a better glimpse and found her clapping away, her eyes looking out for something, someone, maybe me. But she seemed happy, contented in that little corner where the teacher had put her, clapping away, reciting the song and enjoying the experience.
And then the act ended. I was still disappointed not having got a better glimpse of her. My husband tried to calm me down. As all the kids went away, to my surprise, Sia kept standing on stage to the amusement of many others. It was almost as if she was standing there for me, to let me have a full glance of her, as if telling me, 'Mom here I am, have your fill'. My eyes brimmed with tears as she stood there for a full minute all alone on the stage.
Though reluctant I was happy that my princess managed to find her limelight in the end! And I breathed again proud to be the mother of this little star.
Till my next post! You can write to me at http://mammamania.in